3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
