Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
