Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
