We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I lost the right to judge tonight
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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