Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
