you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
