Can i not drive my cunt home
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Randomize
