Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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