i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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