He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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