I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
