Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
