Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my being single is dangerous.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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