Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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