now i know why i became what i already was.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
