Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
