2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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