rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize