watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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