I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
