She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
