i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
