Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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