I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
