I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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