Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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