Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize