According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
