Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
