I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
