I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
