she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
