wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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