shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
