Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
