I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
