last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
