i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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