she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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