you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
