i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
third nipple confirmed
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize