I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
its liver damage thursday
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