Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
