Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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