you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
