i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
