Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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