i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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