My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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