he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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