she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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