Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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