are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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