Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
