im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We were destined to go to rehab together
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize