We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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