so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
