..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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