home. puking in laundry basket.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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