cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
and i looked up. we had an audience...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
