Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
