I wish life had little blips of pornography
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
