it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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