So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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