That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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