I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
